


I will dive in deep to you

by seoulfulnights



Series: I wanna sing for you [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Changkyun gets tied up, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Kihyun is dom for a second there, M/M, Misunderstandings, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:00:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoulfulnights/pseuds/seoulfulnights
Summary: Kihyun can't help himself craving more than some heat between the sheets but Changkyun always is the one to leave his spot cold first. And while Kihyun doesn't know how to say "Stay" and is insecure about the state of their relationship, it's Changkyun who finally turns the tables in an unexpected way.Alternatively, how Changkyun saidI love youwith 36 lines.Inspired byFly with me.





	I will dive in deep to you

**Author's Note:**

> this took me way too long to write since i've been really busy with real life, and i know kyun released the song like two eternities ago but here it is. enjoy the fourth part of this series (tho you don't really need to know what happened in the other parts)

Japan is always a wonderful place to be, especially on holiday but promotion time abroad might just be considered that if you’re an idol. However, with their recent rise in popularity, the members of Monsta X were a bit wary about taking advantage of this situation, not trusting themselves to act as freely as they used to.   
  
“A room for two with a double bed,” Wonho is first to demand, as soon as they reach the front desk in the hotel lobby. “King size would be ideal.” Hands gripping the counter so hard the veins on his forearms are about to bulge, he keeps his gaze focused on the slightly confused receptionist, not sparing their group's image a single thought. Neither the manager’s harsh scolding nor Hyungwon’s mortified face make the visual back down until he gets what he wants - with the promise to keep their room assignment a secret. And really, after almost three years spent together their manager was supposed to know better than to leave space for interpretation. Say, he should have anticipated that either Minhyuk or Kihyun or Wonho (although this time the first two are found charged guilty), would take on to Twitter and _hint_ at their new arrangements.

Although, the two have done it out of spite after being subject to actual torture following a very tiring flight. With a little card in his hand, Wonho grabs Hyungwon’s wrist and drags him to the elevator completely ignoring the fact that they’ve left their luggage in the middle of the reception area - which falls upon Kihyun and Minhyuk to carry because they’re kind enough to do it, of course, and totally not thanks to losing at rock-scissors-paper. Dragging two extra suitcases isn’t that easy when the rightful owners pack way too many clothes for their sojourn and Kihyun plans to let the couple know exactly what he thinks of them. So without thinking through, the short vocal marches forth and opens widely the door (stupidly) left ajar.

Only to be greeted with a sight he didn’t quite want to become acquainted with. Ever.

“Get on the bed,” Wonho ordered a pant-less Chae Hyungwon while his own shirt was already missing, thrown somewhere Kihyun couldn’t see. Not like he’d be able to look at something else besides Hyungwon’s naked butt and - oh dear lord, now Wonho’s butt is bare too, tattoo fully exposed to whoever were to pass by and glance. Minhyuk whistles from behind him, successfully making the vocalist snap out of his shock of stumbling upon actual porn in the making and throw the luggage in the hotel room before slamming the door shut. How would he be able to face either of them ever again is a problem he’ll deal with in the morning.

“Ah, it’s not fair. I want somebody to push me around like that too,” Minhyuk whines as they go to their own room. Kihyun’s starting to think there’s some secret agreement among the others to push their own sex lives in his face just to rub in the fact that he hasn’t gotten laid in a while and he is _this_ close to killing one of his members.  “I bet Hyunwoo could hold me up against a wall.” Most likely the one nearest to him, if Minhyuk continues to vent his frustrations regarding their muscular leader to him. It's a shame that his bandmate sleeps like a prompt taken out of a horror movie with his eyes open otherwise the vocalist swears he would get rid of him at night. Somehow. Changkyun would surely help him get rid of the body.

The cold embrace of a freshly made bed and clean sheets doesn’t make Kihyun feel any better, anger still bottling up in him and ready to lash out at whoever dared to cross him first. The worst part about promotions is that despite pushing themselves to the limits of exhaustion, they often end up wide awake, mind agitated and nervousness preventing them from even taking naps. The mix drives them to engage in strange activities or adopt some very odd behaviors that at a point the vocalist simply stopped questioning. Monsta X were a weird bunch when sober and rested after all.

“Why is Hoseok live?” Minhyuk mumbles from his own bed while Kihyun checks some of the shots he took on their way to the hotel. The brunet shrugs lightly, not really interested - especially not after that hyung outed him for not wearing pants in the dorm. And besides, it’s not that unusual for Wonho to do unprompted v-lives just to show his love for monbebes, either while he’s at the gym or eating or sitting in his studio. Hotel rooms are an ordinary setting for such lives anyway, it’s no news all idols do them.

However, not even half an hour later Minhyuk gasps dramatically and calls out for his roommate to come and see, but the strange sounds coming out from the hyper guy’s phone catch Kihyun’s attention before the mood maker. “What the hell?!” is the only intelligent reaction either of them can have as their hyung switched his live to voice only and hopped in the shower, most likely not aware of just how inappropriate this whole thing was. The fact that their CEO calls Kihyun in less than 30 seconds - probably their leader’s already sleeping or taking a shower as well - isn’t even surprising. “I’ll go and stop him before he ruins us,” Minhyuk says as soon as Kihyun puts down his phone, ear hurting from getting chewed off for something he isn’t responsible for.

Indeed, sleep deprivation combined with energy drinks and sexual tension is a very dangerous combination, especially to their more sensitive members. Kihyun, too, is guilty of falling down such path, his own fuzzy mind isn’t in a better state but still not straying quite as much as Wonho’s. Instead, it’s filled with annoyance and envy that the visual line get special treatment while he and Changkyun were never able to even room together - sharing a bed is a dream out of this stratosphere. Besides, the maknae hasn’t ever voiced the wish to room together so there’s no point in thinking about that. And he’s horny too, god damn it, all the frustration piled up and the simple thought of sharing a room with his boyfriend resulting in an uncomfortable semi-hard on.

“Hyung?” There’s a knock on the door followed by a timid call from the other side and Kihyun jumps out of bed in record time. Which in retrospect isn’t such a good idea since the sight of their cute maknae, sleepy pout and sparkly eyes and all, turns his semi into an actual boner. He’s so gone on Changkyun it’s ridiculous. “I can’t sleep. Hyunwoo-hyung’s already snoring and, you know…” Changkyun fidgets and Kihyun understands. It’s a good pretext, he needs to give Kyun kudos for it. He steps aside and lets the younger enter the room, quickly texting Minhyuk to ‘please please go to Hyunwoo/Hoonie tonight’. When he looks up from his phone, Changkyun’s already lying in his bed, holding up the blanket and waiting for him to join.

Kihyun doesn’t have to be told twice before nestling himself in Changkyun’s homey arms. Sometimes they sleep like this in the dorm, whenever one of them is restless or has a particularly bad day. After going through so much together he considers all the members his family, of course, but even before their relationship developed the way it did Changkyun was slightly above the rest. Like a mother has a favorite child no matter how much she denies it - though a motherly comparison doesn’t feel fitting taking into consideration the nature of said relationship. The gap between Changkyun and the others in Kihyun’s heart only got bigger the more time they spent together. The more he fell for the rapper. When did they become this close, Kihyun wonders, his nose buried in his boyfriend’s neck and the faint scent of the black haired’s cologne soothing his previous irritation.

Did the others notice it too? Do they know just what an important part Changkyun plays in his life, and are his feelings towards the maknae as obvious as he thinks they are? Probably not since nobody teases them about being in their own world and out of reach like they do with Hyungwon and Wonho. Sometimes, however, he wishes they would. More often than he’d dare to admit, he wishes the members would comment on how Changkyun’s hopelessly in love with him, as desperate as that sounds. He wants to see people acknowledge their love beyond the banners made by fans who ‘ship’ them.

He sighs heavily, this sort of trouble isn’t what he signed up for when the two of them first started to fool around. Actually, he can see now why companies are so strict when it comes to dating prohibitions - especially within a band, but he’s also aware they’re not the only couple to ever end up like this. It’s quiet, save for their even breaths and the dull ticking of a clock on the wall above their heads. From this position, he cannot see his boyfriend’s face, but Kihyun assumes he fell asleep. After all, they had a long day and it’s warm enough to doze off without much waiting.

“Where’s Minhyuk?” the maknae asks in that deep voice of his, lips close to the shell of Kihyun’s ear and breath sending shivers down the older’s spine. Apparently, Changkyun is very much awake and he doesn’t sound as sleepy as he first had when he knocked on Kihyun’s door. The vocalist glances up and catches Changkyun’s eye, the playful glint in those dark orbs and the not so subtle question giving away his real intentions. And in spite of longing for this exact situation not long ago, something about it feels wrong and out of place. But maybe the only thing out of place is how much he craves reassurance that his feelings are returned, that Changkyun loves him as much as he loves him. Yet, can he be blamed when he hasn’t heard the three words at all in the nine months they’ve been dating?

“Oi, show some respect for your hyungs and use honorifics, brat,” Kihyun nags, hand slapping the younger’s chest lightly and earning an amused chuckle in return. Changkyun’s incorrigible though, fingers grasping his boyfriend’s bony hips and pulling him closer. Once he sets his mind on something the boy does everything in his power to get it, his spot in the band and Kihyun being prime examples of it. The brunet doesn’t like to give in that easily, not all at once at least, so he changes their positions by dropping a leg across Changkyun’s hips, balancing his weight and then straddling him. The rapper’s eyes darken even more if it’s possible. “We have a performance tomorrow…” Kihyun drifts off, the rational part of him reminding both of who they are first and foremost.

“I know,” Changkyun replies quietly, tongue peeking out to wet his dry lips. Kihyun involuntarily copies the movement, wishing his own tongue did it instead. “But I want to feel you, _hyung_ . At least like this.” And with that said, the younger thrusts his hips up against Kihyun’s, crotches rubbing together and making them both groan in pleasure, although there are two layers of clothing in between. His hands travel up from the vocal’s waist, fingers dancing across sensitive skin beneath the other’s large T-shirt before going once more down, grasping milky thighs tightly. It’s really, _really_ unfair how Changkyun learned already all of Kihyun’s erogenous spots and all of the little things that make him go crazy like an animal in heat. “I want you, Ki.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” the older gasps and starts grinding down against the other, trying to get as much friction as he can between them. Ever the helpful maknae, Changkyun grabs the elastic band of Kihyun’s boxers smirking at the fact his hyung ditched pajamas for the night and pulls them down in one move. Kihyun sits up to fully take them off while the impatient rapper kicks his own shorts and underwear onto the floor before pulling his boyfriend back in his lap. Feeling their erections touch so intimately elicits a light moan from both of them as the vocalist starts moving his hips teasingly until Changkyun’s dick slips behind him in the cleft between his cheeks, so close from where both they wish it were instead.

“How many shows do we have left?” Kihyun asks breathily while the other black haired takes control and guides his movements with a tight grip on his waist. They’re both still wearing shirts and that arouses him further, just as much as the thrill of getting caught by Minhyuk in this embarrassing position. God damn it, Changkyun brought the worst out of him and turned him into a freaking pervert. But how could he not when the boy in question sits up and pulls down the collar of Kihyun’s shirt enough to reveal his collarbones and suck at them.

“Too many,” Changkyun groans as he looks at the mark he left behind admiratively. Kihyun wants to slap his cocky smirk off but he resumes to payback, two fingers wrapping in a circle around Changkyun’s cock and making him choke on his breath. It’s a push and pull game between them at this point, a battle of who gets the other more flustered and ultimately cum first. “Fuck, Ki. As soon as we’re done with Spotlight, I’ll kick everyone out of the dorm.” The promise raises goosebumps on Kihyun’s skin and the small pet-name gets him whiny and pliable in Changkyun’s hands, just like the younger likes it.

“Yeah?” the vocal breathes out, hand tightening its clutch on the hard member and stroking it slowly, up and down movements made smoother by all the pre-cum leaked. Changkyun is eager and Kihyun’s sure that if they wouldn’t have a show tomorrow, he’d have his head buried in a pillow trying to contain his loud noises as his boyfriend fucks him good. He remembers the last time they managed to find some time for themselves and he can almost feel the bruising grip on his hips again.

“Yeah. I’ll fuck you so good, hyung. I’ll fuck you so you can still feel me inside for days.” _Shit_ , Kihyun mentally curses at that while the words rip out another moan from him or maybe the sound comes out because right at that moment Changkyun’s own hand takes over and grabs both of their hard cocks. “You’d look so pretty, taking my cock so well. I bet you could do it right now.” As if to emphasize his point, the brat drops his palm hard across Kihyun’s left cheek, the slap echoing in the hotel room along with another moan from the short brunet. They’re both moving now, finding a rhythm in between and cocks rubbing against the sweaty palms of their hands. “Look at you, so needy. What would the other hyungs say if they saw you like this, huh?”

How in the world did Kihyun forget Changkyun has a dirty mouth good at so many sinful things is a mystery, but as always that deep raspy voice mixed with profanities gets him going. It’s almost ridiculous that Kihyun’s first worry as he feels his orgasm getting closer is to raise his boyfriend’s shirt up and expose that soft tummy which soon gets covered in cum, Changkyun’s hand working Kihyun through completion. Embarrassed that he caved in first, the main vocal slips down until the younger’s hard shaft hits him in the face, quite literally, and then wraps his lips around the tip, sucking with enthusiasm. “A-ah, _fuck_ ,” Changkyun curses in English, his hand tangling in his hyung’s hair.

A little smirk takes over Kihyun’s face as he relaxes his throat muscles and takes in as much as he can, but it’s difficult to have such facial expression when your mouth is full of dick. So instead of enjoying the pride boost offered so kindly by the maknae’s loud reactions, Kihyun concentrates on his task to bring Changkyun to climax. His tongue refuses to lay flat against the underside of the pulsing member, working in circles around it instead while his cheeks hollow in order to suck with more vigor. He’s perfected his technique in these past months and it even brought some high notes out of Changkyun, later transferred into their performance. And indeed, after barely a few more minutes he can taste the salty liquid he looked for.

“Is there something that mouth can’t do?” Changkyun asks playfully, panting as he tries to recover his breath. Kihyun doesn’t hold back the smirk anymore and goes to lie flat beside the younger as soon as he has his underwear back on (unlike Wonho, he’s not that keen on sleeping naked). Changkyun does the same and cleans himself up then presses a kiss on top of his head just as the door pushes open. “I swear, Hoseok-hyung will get all our asses kicked out of Starship,” Minhyuk huffs annoyed, obviously not enjoying third wheeling the visual couple and scolding them (especially the oldest) for their nasty behavior. “Oh, Kkukkung is here,” the intruder blinks confused, just noticing his roommate’s glare as well as the maknae’s presence.

“Actually, I was just leaving.” Kihyun’s head snaps so fast Minhyuk fears he might have ripped a few muscles in the process, the harsh glare replaced with a soft pout, totally not jutting his lower lip for his boyfriend to kiss him. That would be so absurd. “See ya at breakfast, hyungs,” the youngest waves off before he’s gone, taking away a little piece of Kihyun’s heart with him and leaving the rest hurting. Minhyuk doesn’t have the chance to duck the flying pillow sent his way, the impact making him shriek way too loudly for the late hour and Kihyun’s mood. “What the hell, tiny?”

“Check your messages, asshole,” is all Kihyun says before turning his back to the other member and throwing the blanket over his head. He is well-aware of how childish he is behaving at the moment, but the tight feeling in his chest makes him want to cry and he sure as hell won’t do that in front of Minhyuk, not over something as small and insignificant as Changkyun not wanting to stay over.  Or is it really insignificant? He understands perfectly the younger doesn’t want to be a nauseatingly sweet couple but at this point, they barely act like a couple at all cut for the sexual part of their relationship. Is this any way to have a genuine relationship?

His only available comparison term ever since debut, however, are dramas - not a good example to settle some realistic expectations of what being in a couple entitles - and Hyungwon and Wonho, whom you can see from miles afar that they’re in love. And it’s not just the hopeless looks of devotion, the obvious weakness and vulnerability in front of the other, the way they send off the other members as if exorcised when their bedroom’s lock is closed. It’s the small little details most can’t catch, the subtle hints here and there that reassures them their love is still very much alive and stronger than ever. It’s Hyungwon wearing Hoseok’s gray hoodie in public just to have the other closer. It’s Hoseok buying them matching phone cases and making sure they can get some privacy every now and then. It’s them whispering ‘ _I love you_ ’s when they think nobody is looking and the cameras are off.

It’s this sort of romantic bullshit Kihyun finds himself craving, the kind that makes Changkyun roll his eyes or mock vomiting noises whenever the visual couple are at it again. He’s not asking for something as grand as getting a whole song written about him, though Kihyun must admit to himself that he was jealous when Hyungwon got From Zero served like that. But right now, just a little something more sentimental than ‘ _I wanna fuck you until you can’t walk_ ’ would do. The tears start rolling slowly, quietly, and painfully, each row digging a path down his chin and making his body convulse.  

The warnings have been more than evident right from the start, and dating in the industry is, in general, a nasty business yet dating a band member surely takes the cake. There are so many things at risk here beyond a broken heart and he can’t put his own good above the band’s. But how sad that the first argument against breaking it off is that it would affect their team dynamics. Kihyun truthfully doesn’t want to break up with Changkyun, he doesn’t want to stop whatever they’re doing but at the same time, he knows he can’t go on like this. He can’t keep giving Changkyun tiny pieces of his heart without receiving anything back.

 

***

 

Nobody expected their maknae to suddenly drop his mixtape, although he’s been working on it for a long time now and even spoiled some parts during a v-live once. When did he even manage to film a music video is the current crime case the six other members are trying to solve, especially Kihyun who’s furious about his boyfriend keeping this project a secret for him. Neither of the hyungs are happy about the whole ordeal until, cornered and kicked like a poor dog, Changkyun confesses that this was something very special to him, that he worked on it stealthily and didn’t even consider the company would allow him to put it out in the open for all monbebes to listen to. “Hyung, it means as much to me as From Zero does to you,” Changkyun whined to Wonho, for once acting like his age and leaving the others speechless with the heaviness that statement carried.

The subject is deemed closed for the next two days until the MV is finally dropped and they huddle onto their living room couch (or on the floor for the less fortunate ones) in front of the television. Everyone appears to be excited about it, except for Changkyun himself who looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Hesitantly, he sits down next to Kihyun who hasn’t spoken a word to him since _Fly with me_ was announced. Wonho busies himself with connecting the screen to his laptop and soon enough the video starts playing. “Ooh!” they exclaim loudly as the cold colored shots switch one after the other and Changkyun finally appears on the screen looking cool and impassible. Kihyun leans heavily on his boyfriend as the first beats start playing, but the maknae doesn’t complain one bit at the unrequested source of heat burning his arm.

And since they aren’t filmed at the moment, he allows himself to let his arm rest around Kihyun’s waist so the older leans on Changkyun’s chest now instead, head resting between the younger’s neck and shoulder. It’s purely innocent, he tries to excuse himself. Besides, they’re the epitome of subtle in comparison to Hyungwon straddling Wonho’s thigh since there was no more place for him on the couch. Changkyun shakes his head at the visual couple’s attics and instead focuses on the feel of his boyfriend pressed so close to him. These moments became rarer and shorter in the past months, even though their schedules weren’t much busier than the usual, and Changkyun often wondered if it was his fault. Confusion was an emotion he started feeling more and more recently as a nagging question kept bothering him: what could he have done to Kihyun to make the older avoid him like this.

“Are you drunk? Why are you spinning like that?” Minhyuk asks bluntly, amusement betrayed by the characteristic grin brightening up his features. “He’s doing that piano hand thing again,” Jooheon points out laughing in unison with Minhyuk. Wonho proceeds to imitate the maknae, using Hyungwon as an accordion and pressing his fingers against his ribcage like they were keys, the ticklish giggles that come out sounding much like music (only to the redhead). Changkyun ignores them, not really caring about their reaction. This song is not for them. There’s only one person who matters here.

 

_To you, okay_

 

His hand travels up from around Kihyun’s waist to the elder’s hair, fingers playing with the soft black locks and remembering how good it felt to pull at them last week when they finally had some alone time. Sadly, with all the promotions going on they can’t allow themselves to fully act on their desires and had to retort to a few messy handjobs in the shower and Kihyun so kindly blowing Changkyun at their hotel. Distracted by such thoughts, the younger rapper barely keeps his eyes on the display in front of them, finding more joy in admiring the sight of his boyfriend than rewatching his own video. In his arms, the vocalist barely moves an inch, focused on absorbing every little detail about his boyfriend’s mixtape.

Kihyun’s eyes widen slightly in realization and Changkyun hopes he got it right. It’s a song dedicated _to Yoo_ , a song that sends back to one of the lyrics Kihyun sang so long ago in _Grandmother bird_ , a song meant to express everything his words and actions failed to up to this point. At the hyungs’ teasing about dirty implications or having a kink for being tied up, Changkyun hides his face shily in the crook of Kihyun’s neck. He does not miss the way the vocalist tenses up or how his palm rests now firmly on Changkyun’s knee. “Bitch, did you fucking howl?!” Minhyuk jumps up scandalized and mouth agape. The rapper whines, waves of embarrassment hitting him all at once and he almost regrets putting that little part in the song. Almost. He’s done worse things.

“Im Changkyun, a furry. Exposed,” Hyungwon concludes with all the calm a zen master like himself can possess, sending everyone onto the floor to join Minhyuk in laughter. Kihyun shushes them all to keep quiet; the focused frown knitting his eyebrows makes Changkyun bite his lip anxiously in turn. Initially, he didn’t mean the words as sexually as one might see them, the lyrics simply pouring out of his soul and through his pen onto paper in an attempt to describe all the feelings he hoards up for his lovely boyfriend. Although he supposes they’re not needed to be highlighted like this, he’s seen fans before tease him online for having a major crush on his hyung. But it’s more, much more than simply a teenager infatuation.

 

_I will be by your side so you won’t be alone_

_Wherever you fly I’ll fly to you_

 

More than anything, he wants to make a promise to Kihyun. A promise that he’ll always be there, even if something comes between them and they’re separated later on. A promise that he’ll give his all to this relationship, that he is willing to work hard just to see Kihyun happy. That even if Kihyun leaves him someday for somebody else, even if his hyung will banish him and never wish to have anything to do with Changkyun again, he’ll still feel the same deep love he does now, the same love he felt for longer than he can recollect. A love he couldn’t find a proper manner to display until writing this song and a love that shall live on through it.

 

_I will be yours so that you can be mine_

_I will fly to you whenever, whenever I close my eyes, always next to you_

_If you want I will take you_

_Even if that place is higher than the heavens_

 

Never did their closed off maknae reveal so much of his soul and the realization of what this song truly means has the other six members speechless, not even one more comment about what the lyrics might imply or how much of a pervert their younger rapper is. Well, perhaps it’s not that open or out there, but it carries Changkyun’s style and personality, his quiet quirks and his cool vibe and for those who know him well like his brothers do, it’s as clear as a summer sky. The aesthetic video drifts off to a sunset scenery, matching the sunrise in the beginning and ending a full circle, but not quite - just like his love for Kihyun will never reach an end either. And they say Wonho is the romantic one in Monsta X.

“Damn, Kyun. That was _sweet_ ,” Jooheon grins, dimples on full display and eyebrows wiggling ridiculously. Forgetting for a second that they’re supposed to be best friends, Changkyun considers hitting Jooheon with the tv remote until he’s bleeding on the floor, dead cold. He’s sure if he asks nicely enough Kihyun will help him get rid of the body. Speaking of the devil, their main vocal is still so quiet it’s eery, and Changkyun would rather have him call the rapper out on being a little cheesy shit, shout at him that the autotune is garbage, throw insults about what a wannabe artsy idol he is. Anything but this silence.

And then suddenly Kihyun grabs him by the elbow and shoves him away from the others and into their shared bedroom, angry complains from the others following them as the lock on the door is set into place. Changkyun feels like a ragdoll being pushed around as he lands on the bed (whose bed is not certain, his orientation sense is too shaken to distinguish what fits where). “What was that?” the slightly shorter man demands, arms crossed and chest puffed out in an attempt to appear bigger than he actually is. It makes Changkyun want to squeal a little and squish those hamster cheeks, right before he smashes their lips together to answer Kihyun’s question. “My mixtape, of course,” the rapper replies smoothly and swears he can literally see a vein pop by Kihyun’s temple. He’s in big trouble.

“Don’t you play smart with me, you little shit.” His words and tone might seem threatening, but the way Kihyun suddenly climbs up in Changkyun’s lap certainly is not. If anything, Changkyun would describe it as sensual, seductive, maybe even beguiling, just like everything else the older does. He’s so grossly enamored with the other it’s surprising he doesn’t puke rainbows whenever Kihyun is beside him - but worry not, Minhyuk is always there to make up for the lack of vomiting sounds. The maknae is snapped out of his promiscuous thoughts when his head is forcefully pulled back, tiny fingers gripping black locks and urging him to look Kihyun in the eye. As soon as black meets black, it’s over. They both rush to close in the distance between them, lips clashing in a frenzy and bodies melting into each other.

Changkyun sighs into his lover’s mouth in content, happy to finally feel the other this close to him again, to have a little moment away from everybody else where there’s only the two of them, like the sun and moon overlapping and creating a stunning eclipse. He relaxes completely, leans back until his head hits the pillow, and pulls the older down with him. Kihyun, on the other hand, seems to be burning, a devastating fire ignited inside his chest bursting out with the need to touch, touch, _touch,_ to have Changkyun all to himself. That song made everything clear, the reference too obvious to miss out, but his mind is still restless and searching for the same spark that wrote the very lyrics. He wants to get to the core of what Changkyun _is_ and absorb it all within himself.

The rapper’s belt is unbuckled so fast and pulled out like a whip in the blink of an eye, making the younger gasp. The brunet, already flabbergasted from Kihyun’s hunger for _him_ , barely registers how the vocalist grabs his hands and puts them above his head and only becomes aware of the situation he’s got himself into when the rough leather binds his wrists together. “H-hyung?” he stutters out the word and stares at Kihyun with wide, flurry eyes before probing how tightly the belt was fastened. “What the hell?!” The words in English leave his mouth as the situation at hand finally sinks in. Kihyun smirks proud of himself before leaning down to press a quick kiss onto Changkyun’s lips and then going back to what he already started by taking off those offending skinny jeans.

“You told me to tie you up, baby,” Kihyun answers, each word slurred with arrogance and making Changkyun’s heart beat faster. Well, he _did_ say that in the song. But he didn’t mean it in a literal sense! Not at all, what he had in mind was Kihyun putting a metaphorical leash around his neck and basically owning his heart - he’s that whipped. Wait, a leash is not that innocent either and he _really_ doesn’t dislike the unfamiliar position he finds himself in. So is there actually any point in putting up a fight instead of just enjoying it and letting Kihyun take whatever he wants from him? His lips part open as the older leans down once more, but instead of aiming for his lips, Kihyun’s mouth goes straight to his pulse point and sucks on it until he gets Changkyun meowling.

“You’re all mine, aren’t you baby boy?” the vocal asks, the same cocky smirk adorning his face. Changkyun wants to bark something back at him, to call him nasty names or throw Kihyun on the floor where he belongs for being so trashy. But he can’t and, moreover, for some atrocious reason he doesn’t want to fully be aware of yet, the nickname melts him into a mute mess and all he can do is nod when addressed such a question. “And you’ll take me ‘higher than the heavens’, baby?” All this teasing makes Changkyun reach an unhealthy level of embarrassment that he didn’t think possible after pulling off so many odd stunts for the band. However, Kihyun’s voice possesses some sort of devilish power to make him submit to whatever his hyung asks of him - the recent episode of him learning how to properly hit high notes comes to mind.

His voice is not the only sinful thing about Kihyun, not at all when his fingers skim across Changkyun’s thin white T-shirt, tickling him slightly before they finally reach for the hem and pull it up but not quite over his head. Instead, the soft material bulks up on top of the leather that ties up his wrists together, making it even harder for the younger to escape from his confines. It excited the maknae and Kihyun could very well feel it pressed against his ass. “Fuck, I wanna ride you,” the slightly taller one, as he likes to believe, curses and starts grinding down against the rapper. The friction gets the other softly whining, his hands grasping around empty air as they try to reach for his boyfriend’s waist to guide his actions, to his behind to grope that round bottom he likes so much, or to his thighs he loves to see trembling under the power of a good orgasm.

But he can’t. He can’t move his hands one bit and with how Kihyun’s straddling him, it’s difficult to budge at all. It’s quite a sight in all honesty, Kihyun smirks at his whiny boyfriend looking down on him with smugness, the boy squirming beneath him as he tries to grind back against the vocalist’s growing erection. “Please, hyung,” he begs quietly, feeding Kihyun’s ego even more with how pinkish his cheeks have become. He doesn’t get anything in return besides that look he knows so well to make an appearance whenever the other feels particularly playful. Or like a dickhead. A total, fuckable dickhead who sits on his dick without doing anything to relieve Changkyun of his pain. Oh, how he hates this evil hamster sometimes for being such a tease.

“Please what, Kyunnie? If you want something from me, you gotta ask nicely.” Unbelievable. Unconscionable. Monstrous. All these words cross the rapper’s mind as he watches his boyfriend’s serene face as though those ‘harmless’ words he just uttered weren’t mean-spirited at all. And yet, besides the genuine frustration that only Yoo Kihyun can make him feel, all that is blinded by Changkyun’s love for the brunet, which is the main reason why he’d never be able to say no to any request that might be thrown his way. So with a deep breath and biting on the inside of his cheek, Changkyun says but not without a pout, “Please, please, hyung. I really need you. I want to be inside you, please, you know I can make you feel good. I can’t wait any longer.”

The plea is just what Kihyun’s been waiting for, a fact quickly proven by the speed to which he takes off his own clothes before getting rid of the last piece of material covering Changkyun’s bare body. With his underwear off onto the floor, the younger’s hard member salutes Kihyun’s thirsty gaze while the singer searches for the lube he keeps hidden under his pillow, a very handy spot when he and Changkyun get handsy. Perhaps this is more of a punishment than the reward the rapper deserves for writing such beautiful lyrics and dedicating a whole song to him, but once the mood gets him going he can’t stop trying to push all of Changkyun’s buttons. Usually, it ends up with him being roughened up real good by the maknae, his ass red and hips hurting the next day for taking the teasing too far. But he can’t deny it - bringing that side to the surface of their quiet baby is always so rewarding.

However now, all Changkyun is able to do is watch as Kihyun preps himself up one finger at a time, not giving a damn about the amount of torture he’s putting his boyfriend through or that five more guys within earshot are still in the apartment behind the very door he locked not long ago. The facial expressions he pulls only intensify Changkyun’s desire to wreck him. “Sing it to me,” Kihyun gasps out loud when his fingers manage to brush his spot - but ever since he and the younger hooked up, his hands have stopped being enough to bring him the pleasure he craved so badly. When Changkyun remains quiet, Kihyun decides to play even more dirty than before and reaches to wrap his free hand around his boyfriend’s cock, giving it a few tugs that are more than enough to draw out some loud moans from the other. “I said, sing it to me.”

For a second, Kihyun wonders if he did it again, if he pushed more than he should and got Changkyun pissed. The considerable scowl that crept on the rapper’s face is hard to miss after all. But a moment later, he hears that husky voice that keeps him up at night with all sorts of fantasies and brightens up his mornings with the best version of reality he could ask for. “ _Fly with me, ride with me, tie up me, I’ll fly to you_ .” Each syllable raises goosebumps on Kihyun’s skin and Changkyun almost sprains his wrist trying to break free from the improvised leather and cotton bounds, and reach out to _touch_. He’s gonna get the vocalist right back for this ploy he used on him, but for now, he’ll fight with what he’s got left: his voice.

The first two lyrics were enough apparently to at least stop this silly game Kihyun’s been playing since the lock clicked, this attack and seizing of power by hitting when Changkyun least expected. As soon as he utters his promise to fly towards his boyfriend, said brunet sinks down on Changkyun’s painful erection, taking him in slowly inch by inch until he’s fully in. They both let out a moan at finally being reunited like this and once more the maknae wishes he could just do something about his restraints, flip them over and show Kihyun just how he intends to make good of his promise. Frustration builds up in the pit of his stomach along with something else as he stares, partly with lust but also with lots of love, at the one riding him so indescribably slow. Time for desperate measures.

“ _I wanna get drown in your arms._ ” The older definitely didn’t expect Changkyun to keep on singing random snippets of his mixtape, if his wide eyes are any indication. Still, his gaze is hidden by the bangs sticking to his forehead and cast down on the expanse of pale skin splayed beneath his fingertips. It’s like he’s trying to dig holes through Changkyun’s chest, like he’s trying to find Changkyun’s heart and soul and cover himself in it until they are melted into one sole being. The younger doesn’t like this position at all though. Despite easily accepting his limitations asserted early on, he would have still preferred to at least get a glimpse of all the emotions crossing his hyung’s face. And since he can’t grip his chin and force eye contact like he would normally do in such situations, he decides to approach another tactic.

While his hands are tied above his head and the weight of Kihyun’s body presses him into the mattress without any possibility of rolling over, Changkyun is still able to move his hips. Kihyun moans loudly as he’s suddenly turned subject to expert hard thrusts, the angle just right for his boyfriend to hit his spot repeatedly and get all of those sweet high notes he knows Kihyun to be capable of. “ _Let me swim, baby, I will dive in deep to you._ ” His voice sank down one octave on purpose and each word comes out more sensual than it originally did for the recording. His hyung is not the only one who can play dirty, Changkyun is a quick learner after all. Sometimes he enjoys giving Kihyun the control he craves in the bedroom, letting him dominate for a while, but at the end, he always reminds him who is actually in charge. And the clock is ticking.

So if his smirk turns too smug when the older starts moaning his name repeatedly like that’s the only way he could get any oxygen into his burning lungs, all he can say is that everything is fair in love and in war. And whenever they clash like this, it’s a little bit of both. “K-Kyun,” Kihyun stutters through trembling lips, eyes screwed tightly shot as he rests his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders and rides him with a new found vigor. Changkyun bites his lower lip, though he wishes he could bite Kihyun’s instead. The eyeful in front of him is too much, sweat trailing down the vocalist’s neck, his collarbones shining in the dim light room, the way his face is scrunched up in pleasure or how his thighs are quivering with every other thrust.

They’re both so close to reaching what they want but Changkyun can’t accept such a thing under these terms. No, they’ll do it his way. “Untie me,” he almost growls at the older, his own dilated orbs meeting Kihyun’s shaken ones. “Now, Kihyun. Untie me,” he repeats the order with even more authority and, surprisingly, the other black haired listens to him, pulls the T-shirt slightly down so he can reach for the belt and then unbuckles it. Changkyun sighs in content once his wrists are free, losing sight momentarily of his intentions but not for long - as soon as Kihyun tries to resume where they left off, he finds himself beneath the tortured boy with no escape.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Changkyun grunts once he’s all settled in between Kihyun’s legs properly, the older’s ankles resting against the small of his back and encouraging him to start moving again. But he won’t have it, oh no, he’s going to show Kihyun exactly what he put him through, no matter how painfully hard he is at this point. All the cute whines and whimpers don’t stir him either and when Kihyun tries to set up a pace by moving his hips, Changkyun grips his waist harshly and uses all the strength he can muster to keep him in place. The rapper’s glare is met by an eye roll before Kihyun turns his head away from him, “Come on, let’s finish already.”

The sudden change in attitude isn’t unnoticed by his boyfriend who remains quiet, cock half-way pulled out of Kihyun’s hole. The vocalist’s temper is much more explosive than the younger’s, therefore he cannot take such teasing for long - he’s never enjoyed foreplay that much before Changkyun anyway, so he decides to take the matter into his own hands. Literally. His wrists get pinned above his head though before his fingers can even reach his neglected and leaking length. “Such a pain in the ass,” Changkyun mutters again, emphasizing each word slowly and shaking his head before gradually sliding inside the warm entrance that squeezes him so nicely. Kihyun scoffs with indignance, his nose scrunching up cutely and lips involuntarily pouting but zipped closed, stubbornly trying not to let out any sound of enjoyment.

Changkyun won’t have it though, his hands reaching up from where they kept Kihyun’s wrists trapped above until their fingers are interlocked, a much more intimate position. His hips start thrusting deep, seeking to hit Kihyun’s prostate until he cums all over them, yet something is different from all the times he’s fucked his boyfriend. The air feels smothering and it almost tears Kihyun up, especially when Changkyun starts pressing little kisses anywhere he could reach. “But I still love you so much,” the maknae whispers in his ear and suddenly Kihyun really can’t hold himself back from crying anymore. His whole frame starts shaking as he clings almost desperately to Changkyun. Their rhythm stutters before it gets more chaotic, bodies craving one another like their love is the only thing that’s keeping them alive.

And all of a sudden it clicks into place. They’re making love, perhaps not as sugary and sweet as erotica novels describe it, but it’s so like _them_ , it’s something they’ve come to create together in time. _I love you so much_ , the words play on loop inside Kihyun’s brain until he’s unable to process any other thought, mind too busy to comprehend that _Changkyun loves him_. “S-say it again,” he asks weakly, voice cracking while his boyfriend dives deep into him and also into his soul - perhaps not for the first time either. The younger looks up at him from his cozy spot, nose buried in the nook of the other’s neck, eyes soft and expressing everything Kihyun could wish for. It makes Kihyun cry harder, streams of tears falling down his cheeks before Changkyun gets to kiss their traces gently. Everything he questioned about their relationship, it was right under his nose all this time and yet he was too blind to see it.

“I love Yoo Kihyun,” Changkyun confesses sincerely in a moment of sheer silence, eyes serious and burning with passion just like when he’s on stage, and Kihyun laves in the feeling that he is on the same podium alongside his passion for music in Changkyun’s heart. The intensity of such realization is too much for Kihyun and the pleasure increases tenfold. It hits him like a wall of bricks and his eyes betray him, not allowing the singer to admire his lover’s face while he finally reaches climax and cums hard, thick spurts of white slithering his lower abdomen. He feels light like a feather, limbs numbly caging his boyfriend as the younger keeps fucking him through his orgasm. It feels so good, so _good_ and it tastes like heaven. Kihyun can’t stop himself from smiling like a lunatic as he cups both of Changkyun’s cheeks and looks him right in the eye.

“I love you too, Im Changkyun,” he says solemnly, grinning through the tears before he pulls the younger down for a deep kiss where its not their tongues that entangle one with the other, but their souls that shall blend hereafter. They’re glowing, he knows they do because it’s warm when Changkyun spills inside of him and it’s also warm as his chest also feels embraced by a tender flame. There’s something soft pressed against his lips that makes him smile wider, although he’s too blissed out to realize it’s a shy loving peck. It takes virtually one breath for them to turn into an uncoordinated mess cuddled up against each other, still holding on tightly to the other as though they’re afraid to let go.

And Kihyun is afraid, afraid of how vulnerable he’s become in front of the maknae without even realizing. He’s afraid of what could happen to them were outsiders to catch a glimpse of their real relationship. He’s afraid of losing himself in this ocean of feelings his heart cried for Changkyun. “What are you thinking about?” The rapper’s voice sounds husky now like it usually does when he gets sleepy or aroused - considering their very recent activities, Kihyun is inclined to think it’s the first scenario. He doesn’t answer the prying question, just shakes his head before running his fingers through soft black locks. He likes this color on Changkyun and he likes it even more that they’re matching. The younger snuggles closer and whines softly, protesting against Kihyun’s attitude. “Tell me.”

Kihyun lets out a heartfelt laugh when he notices his boyfriend’s pouting at him like a small baby, despite ravaging him like a hungry man only minutes ago. Changkyun’s duality remains a mystery to this day, how he could turn from a rude idol to a precious puppy, but it’s just one of those quirks he loves about the rapper. In the end, he loves all of his weird eyebrow-raising quirks and wouldn’t have it any other way. So is there any point in worrying at all now that he knows he hasn’t fallen into this dark pit of feelings and attachments on his own? “I’m thinking that next time I should take Hyungwon’s silk belt from his trashy robe and tie you up with it instead.”

The promptitude with which Changkyun’s face turns red like a crab is absolutely fascinating for Kihyun who once again starts laughing at the expense of his lover who hides his face at his chest, listening to his uneven heartbeat. The older’s fingers rack themselves again through silky locks before he presses a kiss on top of Changkyun’s crown, trying to settle a yawn. “You’re such an asshole,” the maknae sighs but that little smile tugging at the corner of his lips says he doesn’t mean it in a bad way at all.

“Maybe, but you love me,” Kihyun replies smugly, not missing a heartbeat to tease his boyfriend again. _He loves me_ , he repeats in his head much calmer than he’s felt in weeks. And he stops being afraid.

  
  


“...I do.”

 

***

 

“Guys, come on!!” Jooheon shouts from the other side of the door, his knuckles hurting from how hard he’s been knocking on it. Minhyuk isn’t much better right now either, trying to pick at the lock with a paperclip. They’ve been locked out of their own bedroom for hours thanks to the horny couple who can’t keep it in their pants - or at least bother to let them in _their own room_ once they’re done. Is writing a diss-track towards his best friend too harsh at this point? He thinks the fuck not. The older rapper sighs heavily while the pretty boy beside him groans in frustration and gets up from his kneeling position in front of the lock.

“That’s it! I’m done with them. I’m going to sleep on Shownu tonight,” Minhyuk declares exasperated and marches towards the second bedroom, not bothering to listen to the other couple prohibiting him from sleeping in the same room. But it’s not like anybody could stop the hyper guy at this point. And once again, Jooheon finds himself sleeping on the couch. Why is it so difficult to be a straight guy in a kpop band?  

 


End file.
